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People Magazine Nominates Gwyneth Paltrow, Dubiously, as the Most Beautiful Woman in Existence
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In a decision that must have been political, People magazine has declared Gwyneth Paltrow as the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman!” Obviously she isn’t, though she’s not bad – so what’s up with this? And isn’t it coincidental that the most beautiful woman, as determined by this magazine, happens to be an American celebrity somewhat in fashion at the moment? Last year it was Beyoncé. If the competition, or whatever it is, isn’t rigged, it’s at least as biased and as unlikely as you would expect from a husband who declares his own wife to be most beautiful.

Gwyneth, for her part, was modest enough, in a way that is natural when a magazine interviews you about being the most beautiful creature in existence. “Around the house, I’m in jeans and a T-shirt. I don’t really wear makeup. That’s what they’re used to,” she said, thankfully not also adding that she has ice-cream now and then like normal people. As for her husband, “He’ll make a joke about it. If I’ve gotten fully dressed up, he’ll be like, ‘Oh, wow! You’re Gwyneth Paltrow!’ Because he’s used to seeing me in, like, baggy shorts and frizzy hair.”

  
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She says she owes her prettier-than-you looks to a workout routine. “It makes me look younger and feel strong. When I first started, I thought, ‘I’ll never be good at this. This is a nightmare!’ But now it’s like brushing my teeth, I just do it.”

The prettiest woman, coincidentally a celebrity, gave an exclusive interview to the magazine, naturally enough, saying all the things we expect celebrities to say such as how wonderful her marriage and family are, what beauty tips she uses, and setting straight all the rumors that are bouncing around.

That may hold some tepid interest, and again she isn’t painful to look at, but most beautiful? Come on, People!

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