Law Life

American Liberals Sneaking Across Border to Canada: Crisis in the North
Download PDF
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

American Liberals Sneaking Across Border to Canada

Summary: A shocking number of American liberals have been sneaking into Canada, leading to increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republicans winning the Senate prompted an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

  
What
Where


“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.

Get JD Journal in Your Mail

Subscribe to our FREE daily news alerts and get the latest updates on the most happening events in the legal, business, and celebrity world. You also get your daily dose of humor and entertainment!!




In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.’s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”





 

RELEVANT JOBS

Litigation Associate Attorney

USA-MI-Petoskey

Full Job Description Prominent small firm in beautiful Northern Michigan seeks Litigation Associa...

Apply now

Legal Secretary

USA-MD-Owings Mills

Secretary needed for law firm. Must be proficient in Word and type at least 50 wpm. Familiarity will...

Apply now

Litigation Paralegal (part-time)

USA-CA-Aliso Viejo

Full Job Description About us Brian Ballo, Esq. is a 34 year real estate and business attorney...

Apply now

Judicial Clerkship

USA-GA-Jonesboro

JUDICIAL LAW CLERK / STAFF ATTORNEY POSITION Judge Aaron B. Mason is seekin...

Apply now

BCG FEATURED JOB

Locations:

Keyword:



Search Now

International Trust and Estates Attorney

USA-NY-New York City

New York City office of a BCG Attorney Search Top Ranked Law Firm seeks an international trust and e...

Apply Now

Real Estate Attorney

USA-NY-New York City

New York City office of a BCG Attorney Search Top Ranked Law Firm seeks a Real Estate Attorney with ...

Apply Now

Litigation Associate Attorney

USA-CA-Los Angeles

Los Angeles office of a BCG Attorney Search Top Ranked Law Firm seeks a litigation associate attorne...

Apply Now

SEARCH IN ARCHIVE

To Top