Secret FISA Court Rules Itself Constitutional
Download PDF
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

In a landmark ruling earlier today, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA), a judicial body which has clandestine proceedings and authorized the controversial NSA surveillance program, announced that it has declared itself a legal entity within the United States Constitution.

“We have received a number of complaints since the Snowden incident that our court is operating unconstitutionally. Today I am happy to announce we have responded to those critics with a secret ruling that makes the court completely legal,” confirmed Reggie Walton, the court’s Chief Judge.


Walton notes that the decision was made in a private court session this afternoon, in which members of the court added an amendment to the United States Constitution. The amendment reads as follows:

It is hereby decided that the FISA Court has the authority to make executive rulings on any issue of legality in the United States, including about itself and all previous amendments. Any person or governing body which opposes the will of the FISA Court will be tried as a traitor by due process under the FISA Court.

Professor Ronald Andrews, a constitutional scholar at Toledo University of Arizona, noted that while the decision to add an amendment is certainly controversial, the FISA Court has the legal authority to pass an amendment without providing details about its proceedings or receiving input from other branches of government.

Get JD Journal in Your Mail

Subscribe to our FREE daily news alerts and get the latest updates on the most happening events in the legal, business, and celebrity world. You also get your daily dose of humor and entertainment!!

“Normally, adding an amendment to the constitution is a difficult and lengthy process that requires many different representatives to agree on an issue. But yesterday FISA passed the Amendment Amendment Act – which allows for FISA to add whatever amendment to the constitution they please. With that power they are essentially the leading authority of the United States.”

Little is currently known about the Court, other than information about its proceedings that were leaked by Edward Snowden. President Obama has not provided comment on the most recent ruling specifically, but pledged his support of the court’s operations in a press conference earlier today.

“The FISA Court, and the people who run it, are to be trusted on decisions like this. As an abider of the FISA Control Of The President’s Agenda Act which was passed by FISA in 2007, I pledge my undying support to the organization and acknowledge that their authority cannot be questioned.”

Sources report that following his comment the President darted his eyes back and forth, and began whispering into the microphone:

“It isn’t safe to discuss this here. If you all knew the terrifying truth behind the…”

At this point the president’s microphone went dead, the lights, turned off, and a menacing voice came over a loudspeaker to announce the press conference was over.

Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect factual reporting.


Interesting Legal Sites You May Like




Search Now

Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney


Walden office of our client seeks matrimonial/family law attorney with 3-5 years of experience. The ...

Apply Now

Matrimonial Attorney

USA-NY-Garden City South

Garden City South office of our client seeks matrimonial attorney with experience. The candidate wil...

Apply Now

Probate Litigation Attorney


Orlando office of our client seeks probate litigation attorney with 3+ years of experience.

Apply Now


Legal Department Manager


Acclaim Credit Technologies is seeking full time individual for our legal department. Job requiremen...

Apply now

Workers' Rights Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

La Raza Centro Legal Workers\' Rights Coordinating Attorney   JOB ANNOUNCEMENT Posi...

Apply now

Senior Law Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

SENIOR LAW COORDINATING ATTORNEY La Raza Centro Legal is currently accepting applications for a c...

Apply now

Immigration Law Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

Immigration Program Coordinating Attorney The Immigration Program Coordinating Attorney at La Raz...

Apply now


To Top