Home

Opinion: I Have Nothing Useful to Contribute to the National Conversation on the George Zimmerman Trial
Download PDF
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

by Chris Matthews

Good morning, my loyal fans. Looking around at what the news blogs, Twitter, and Joy Behar are talking about it seems that this George Zimmerman trial is the hot topic of today. I’m sure many of you have been keeping up with this story, and are awaiting some biting commentary on what this trial says about the state of race relations in the United States in the modern era. Or perhaps you are looking for an update on the proceedings, and remarks about how each side is handling their case.

  
What
Where


Well, I’m sorry to admit this, but if you are seeking top-notch commentary on this issue than you have come to the wrong place. The truth is, I have absolutely nothing useful or even slightly substantial to offer on this one.

As a man who is paid quite handsomely to speak on issues like this every day, it may come as a surprise to people that I don’t have anything to say about the Zimmerman trial. I mean, I usually have plenty to say about the day’s hot topic, usually after only a cursory Googling or skimming over a report from my team of researchers. But I tried my usual tricks and I just have to be honest…I got nothing. I can’t think of any twisted angle to pull out of my ass on this one. So I’m just going to concede and let my competitors take this one.

I just want you to know, however, that I did give it a try. I thought maybe I could talk about how southerners still haven’t gotten over the Civil War, and a deep-rooted mistrust of African-Americans determined both the cause and likely the verdict of this case. I also thought I could go on a rant about how people from Florida are notoriously indecisive, and a case like this should be overseen by a jury of peers that I would personally prefer. These takes probably would have filled up a bit of airtime on ‘Hardball’, and gotten me through to the weekend.

Get JD Journal in Your Mail

Subscribe to our FREE daily news alerts and get the latest updates on the most happening events in the legal, business, and celebrity world. You also get your daily dose of humor and entertainment!!




But instead I’ve decided to just come out and admit that there is nothing even remotely interesting or insightful I could add to the national debate on this trial. I’m just going to sit this one out. I don’t want to waste your time or my time, and I also don’t want to ruin my perfect streak of providing kick-ass commentary on whatever my market researchers are telling me is trending (426,744 in a row).

So thank you anyway for coming to me looking for an update, I appreciate it very much and my advertisers do as well. I’m sorry to say that you’ll be leaving with as much knowledge about the George Zimmerman trial as you came in with, but I’m willing to admit that for this issue that might be best for all of us.



Note: This article is satirical and is not based on the opinions of real people.



 

BCG FEATURED JOB

Locations:

Keyword:



Search Now

Real Estate Transactional Attorney with 4-12 years of leasing experience

USA-CA-Orange

Irvine office of our client seeks real estate transactional attorney with 4-12 years of experience. ...

Apply Now

Complex Litigation Attorney with 3-5 years of arbitration experience

USA-FL-Miami

Miami office of our client seeks complex litigation attorney with 3-5 years of law firm experience i...

Apply Now

Senior Business & Commercial Litigation Attorney

USA-CA-Irvine

Irvine office is seeking a business and commercial litigation attorney with 5+ years of experience. ...

Apply Now

Labor and Employment Attorney with 3-4 years of litigation experience

USA-CA-Los Angeles

Los Angeles office of our client seeks labor and employment attorney with 3-4 years of litigation ex...

Apply Now

RELEVANT JOBS

Trademark & Business Law Associate | Burlington, Vermont

USA-VT-Burlington

Downs Rachlin Martin PLLC (DRM) is seeking an Associate attorney with 1-3 years of trademark and tra...

Apply now

Patent Assistant (Patent Prosecution)

USA-DC-Washington

We have an immediate opening for a Patent Assistant to join our team!  The Patent Assistant pro...

Apply now

Paralegal / Legal Secretary

USA-CA-Solana Beach

Job Description and Qualifications : Paralegal / Legal Secretary - Duties will include preparat...

Apply now

Legal Secretary / Paralegal

USA-NY-Pearl River

Busy fast paced Rockland County Matrimonial firm seeking full time experienced family law paralegal ...

Apply now

Most Popular

SEARCH IN ARCHIVE

To Top