Weird News

Police Officer Caught Masturbating on Video While on Duty
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A police sergeant in Santa Fe, New Mexico is in a bad situation after a video caught him masturbating while he was on duty. The video has recently been released and it was filmed by the dashboard camera of the officer’s cruiser. The video released to the media does not show the inside of the cruiser but has audio that is quite steamy. The officer in question is Sgt. Mike Eiskant.

One former officer, Shannon Brady, was not surprised at the news of the video as Brady said that Eiskant had a bad reputation as a stalker of women and a ‘creeper.’ Brady attempted to file a harassment complaint against Eiskant years ago with the Santa Fe Police Department’s human resource division. The complaint was filed with compliance officer Raymond Rael, who is not the police chief for the department.

  
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You can hear on the video his audio-erotic situation and the sound of a zipper can be heard clearly. The officer seems to be masturbating while looking at a nude picture of a woman on his cellphone. The video is a total of 10 minutes and at one time in the video the officer can be heard saying, “Oh, show me those big beautiful breasts, baby.”

“They had plenty of opportunities over the course of many years to do something about it and they refused to,” Brady said.

When Brady tried to file the claim, Rael asked if she was “doing this only because of all the rumors against Mike Eiskant stalking women.” Rael instead offered mediation between the two parties but Brady declined. Rael has said that he is unaware of any other complaints against Eiskant, who has never been placed on administrative leave. Eiskant is scheduled to retire in November.

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What do you think about this officer that was caught masturbating while on duty?

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“I did not have prior knowledge, and if I did, I would have acted,” Rael said.

When Eiskant was promoted to the rank of sergeant he was issued the badge number 69. Rael explained that he did not know the reason why this happened.

“Is it possible that it is coincidental?” Rael said. “I suppose, but I can’t speak to that issue one way or another.”

A statement from the Attorney General Gary King’s office said that Eiskant promised he “will never again become a law enforcement officer anywhere in the United States,” as part of his plea deal. The agreement also states that “probation length, at initial sentencing, shall not exceed one year, and may be converted to unsupervised probation, in the discretion of the court, after any mandatory counseling has been completed.”

Eiskant entered a no contest plea in Bernalillo County District Court in front of Judge Reed Sheppard for other issues. The no contest pleas were for two counts of attempt to commit a felony for false imprisonment, one count of stalking, two counts of harassment and charges for larceny and possession of marijuana. The criminal complaint details that seven of the charges happened in 2011 and plenty of them involved women in traffic stops.

226 Comments

  1. armondo stiletto

    April 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    sounds like “beat cop” has a new meaning…………….

  2. Bud Fox

    April 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Another police beating and choking caught on the dash cam.

  3. Officer Thorny

    April 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Damnit Farva!

  4. Ruly West

    April 12, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Eiskants gets its up no mo! LOL Great story. Pig ~

  5. darryl

    April 12, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I guess the doughnut shop was closed….

  6. Harleyxx

    April 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Law enforcement is the largest criminal organization in the US. Only low IQ pervs are even attracted to this kind of job.

  7. Heartland Patriot

    April 12, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Idiot should have done that before he left the house…he deserves to get into some serious trouble for having a case of the terminal dumbazz.

  8. Keith

    April 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Was he arrested for choking ummm choking the chicken lol

  9. Rufus Choate

    April 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    The Police are the baby sitters and trash collectors of the Welfare State. Most decent people don’t need or want them around because you can’t hang around low lifes all day and not pick up some of their morals.

  10. reg dwight

    April 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    what a jerk!

    glad i didn’t have to cuff him.

  11. Zeno Stone

    April 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Never shake a cops hand.

  12. Concerned Mom of 5

    April 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Time to take away his night stick…

  13. Steven S.

    April 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Starting to understand the combination of cops and donuts…yuck!

  14. Americans Are Shit

    April 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    What’s the big deal? Amnericans are ALL sexual deviants. That’s why you WAR CRIMINAL MF join the Army, so you can travel overseas and rape little Iraqi girls and then shoot them in the back of the head afterwards to cover-up your crimes.

  15. David

    April 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    Gives new meaning to the phrase, “the strong arm of justice”.

  16. Dick Beater

    April 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    What did he do wrong?

  17. Glenn

    April 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Dial 911, make a cop come..

  18. Jim

    April 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    Eiskant? Oh, yes Eiscan!

  19. jeff

    April 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Car 69 where are you?

  20. Winkycat

    April 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    I do not know what is worse. The sexual acts of this cop or the salacious reporting by a reporter who looks like he him self does the same thing in his dressing room.

  21. Todd

    April 12, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    This guy has nothing on New Mexico State Police officer Bert Lawrence Lopez.

  22. Tommy

    April 12, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    Alternate headline:

    “On-Duty Police Officer Investigated For Carjacking”

  23. Phil McGroin

    April 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I don’t understand the problem.

  24. geo h

    April 12, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    I’ve heard of abusive law enforcement officers, this is a self abusing enforcement case!

  25. Scrotie McBoogerballs

    April 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Better he assault himself than some innocent person on the streets. No wonder these guys are fighting to make it illegal to video record them on the job. Sucks for the state when its own tactics are used against it, huh?

  26. jc

    April 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    This was totally unnecessary to share with the public. It should have been taken care of internally. The police officer needs psychiatric help.

  27. john

    April 12, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Is this considered illegal discharge of a weapon?

  28. Kyle Lyles

    April 12, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    So can we toss Owebama out of office for doing the same over the past four years?

  29. harry wanker

    April 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Just another example of “hands on” policing as far as I can tell.

  30. mike

    April 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    reviewed a dozen hours? lol

  31. TaterSalad

    April 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Hey, Barack Obama might want to hire this moron as a czar. Obama hired Jennings and a couple other perv’s ! Pay is good and benefits in the Obama administration seem to be to just “rip of the tax payers” and it is ok!

  32. makemyday

    April 12, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    He should have given “him” a good beating – then broke his neck!!! Grrrrrrrr on Tax Payer $$$!! FIRE his A$$ -ASAP!!

  33. Anonymous

    April 12, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    if u were caught doing what he did the chief would be arresting u for “lewd acts” but hey, they never go after their own. “internal affairs” is a crock, doj-fbi used to investigate criminal cops until eric “the racist coward” holder became top cop. don’t forget to vote obama 2012 so we can see this all day, every from gov’t employees

  34. Themeatbeater

    April 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Since when was it a crime to jack off in private? At least he didn’t have someone in the back of the cruiser.

  35. nobama nomo 2012

    April 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    if u were caught doing what he did the chief would be arresting u for “lewd acts” but hey, they never go after their own. “internal affairs” is a crock, doj-fbi used to investigate criminal cops until eric “the racist coward” holder became top cop. don’t forget to vote obama 2012 so we can see this all day, every day from gov’t employees

  36. Leroy Delmar

    April 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    His motto? “To Perv and Eject”

  37. jaime

    April 12, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    He can be hire EZ to make doughnuts…

  38. muhamed

    April 12, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    who cares? is this really a big deal? if he were a celebrity in Hollywood and got caught doing this he would be rewarded with a 3 picture deal and go on the talk show circuit. SO he rubbed one out…BFD! Get over yourselves media…this guy must be a republican or conservative, considering how HARD they are reporting on the story 🙂

  39. mesndblues

    April 12, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    The story says he’s about to retire…Apparently he’s going blind…

  40. Fred Schwartz

    April 12, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    I’m disappointed to hear the negative remarks about police in regards to this situation. on the whole, our society is
    better off and safer and perhaps more civil because of our
    police force.

    lawyers have made the exception the rule in our society in
    general, i think that they have changed the nature of our police into a beauracracy.

    and i agree very much with the other commentor – this is
    an internal police matter, and it is very sad that this made it to the internet.

    lastly, the rest of you should grow up. he’s a man.
    men are designed by evolution to pursue vicarious and
    opportunistic sex. inanppropriate behavior in the circumstance, but 2 or 3 in five would be lying to say
    they have not bitten at the apple.

  41. Bubba

    April 12, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    The long arm of the law!!

  42. JW

    April 12, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    EWWWWW!!!

  43. Bozo999

    April 12, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Figures a bunch of TeaBaggers who’ve already choked their respective chickens today and hence are unsympathetic to this poor officer’s need to grapple with the evidence, would attempt to make this yet another (yawn) political debate. The only correlation is Mitt is a four-letter word.

  44. Jack

    April 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I guess the police are doing so well keeping crime to a minimum that he has time for these shenanigans…what’s the problem? Haha!

  45. Anonymous

    April 12, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Maybe he just like slapstick comedy

  46. Dave

    April 12, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Can he now turn around and sue the city for abuse at the hands of a police officer?

  47. Tmor

    April 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Let him retire and move on to Bill Clinton security d-tail.

  48. Cassandra

    April 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    For all those who disagree with this going public, did you not read the last paragraph? He should have been publicly prosecuted a long time ago. It boogles my mind that people rarely read a whole article before commenting.

  49. NancyPelosi

    April 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    This is not surprising in Santa Fe, the cops and judges there are always in trouble, DUI’s, drugs, whatever.

  50. Patrick Henry

    April 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Masturbation is a terrible problem in this country. It must be stopped!

  51. carrotsnapper

    April 12, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    He can always get a job with WACKENHUT!

  52. Anonymous

    April 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Videos like this should not be released. There is no compelling public interest, NO compelling interest in embarassing people.

  53. Larry

    April 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Naked Gun 4-1/2 !!!

  54. Matt

    April 12, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    At least he had a firm grip on the situation.

  55. TiminPhx

    April 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    After he’s fired, he might look into being a private dick.

  56. Brent

    April 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    He must have been in a “Bait Car”

  57. dandi

    April 12, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Geez, this is news? Can’t a guy rub one out on the job without it making national headlines?

  58. Keepeffenthatchicken

    April 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    I personally think that this is one of the best uses of a cops time verses harassing the citizens. The fact that it has hit the national/world news via Drudge Report is the best possible justice for everyone. LOL, keep fu**ing that chicken mr police guy.

  59. William Sligan

    April 12, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    Taking after good ol’ Mitt Romney, see

  60. Joe joe

    April 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    He was listening to Lady Gaga at the time.

  61. Tatiana Covington

    April 12, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    Don’t get *whacked* by this guy!

    He likes to *pull* extra duty!

    He showed signs of police work when in prep school, he oversaw one of its halls as a trusted senior. He was the Master of Bates!

  62. Zipperhead

    April 12, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    Looks like cop has gotten himself into a sticky situation.

  63. Robert

    April 12, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    This little piggie had roast beef, this piggie had none. This little piggie played with his wee wee all the day long.

  64. WeThePeople

    April 12, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    From the chief on up who knew about the complaints all should be FIRED, What INCOMPETENCE in allowing this criminal to continue HIDE behind the BADGE and put the CITIZENS at RISK.

  65. Officer Stadanko

    April 12, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    At least he wasn’t ‘jerking around on the job’…or, ahh, never mind….

  66. Mr.Fitnah

    April 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    I will not visit this site again knowingly.
    WTF

  67. MAC

    April 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Stop or I’ll shoot!

  68. Duke

    April 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    Cop beats Billy Club.

    Pictures at eleven.

  69. Fridley Wallheimer

    April 12, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    He’s just a cop and was forced to resign. Bill Clinton does worse and is made a hero of the Democrat Party. Go figure.

  70. mcnertny

    April 12, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Jerkoff

  71. Pewah

    April 12, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Politicians, celebrities, and high-level executives do similarly tasteless things and society lets them off with hardly a second thought…so why is everybody out to get this guy?

  72. Holly

    April 12, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Finally a beautiful story with a not so happy ending. I think there is a lot of down time in the 69 car. The criminals benefited when the police office had his hands full and his eye closed. Just proves that men need a lot of sex or they will commit crimes I blame the women.

  73. Mudholder

    April 12, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    I guess he didn`t get the word, the use of the choke hold was banned by the police years ago !

  74. Clyde Dodds

    April 12, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    Whut a whanker!Wuz he followin da penal code? hee hee hee,

  75. Shogun

    April 12, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Retiring in November? Shouldn’t he just beat it now?
    Sorry, that came out wrong… Oops did it again.

    Can the Sgt come to grips with his being tossed off the force…I gotta stop with the puns.

    One more – Are the cops going to investigate one of their own getting whacked? Even if it is a self whacking?

    Is this guy’s sobriety test to stand on one leg close his eyes and touch his…wait for it… nose?
    Sheesh you people need to get your mind out of the gutter.

    Was this guy envious of the K-9 officers? If I could lick myself I’d never leave my cruiser!!!!

    Tip your waitresses. I will be here all week.

  76. Keith

    April 12, 2012 at 8:03 pm

    This cop redefines “working the beat”

  77. Shogun

    April 12, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Just a couple more:
    Did he cop a plea or cop a feel?
    Did he confess or did he beat it out of himself?
    Wakka Wakka!
    So there’s no chance of getting promoted from Sgt Eiskant to Major Wood?
    The agreement also states that “probation length, at initial sentencing, shall not exceed one year, or three inches which ever comes first” HELLO!

  78. BTS

    April 12, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    Police have terribly stressful jobs. Let this man walk away from it. How many of you would trade jobs with him even if it meant a pay raise? Respect a horny cop.

  79. Jesticle

    April 12, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Sounds like he was interrogating the witness. “Come on damn you, out with it!”

  80. fawn lebowitz

    April 12, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    What a jerk

  81. Paladin

    April 12, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    This perv cop looks amazingly like Al-global-warming-Gore. Somebody should find out where Algore was when this “footage” was captured.

  82. Marylou

    April 12, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    I do not know why I read this. Now this is something that should not be on the Net. He needs medical treatment.

  83. typicalwhiteguy

    April 12, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Sgt. “69”? What a whackjob!

  84. AllLibsHaveHerpes

    April 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    I bet this guy is registered with the Democrat Party. The give away was when they said he was a pervert and a pot smoker. Typical lib.

  85. Cecil

    April 12, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    Oh right, we got a bunch of virtuous Dudley Do-Rights who never whipped their rats and wouldn’t ever consider it huh? Liars, the lot of you. How many times you been caught? How many times you left some tracks on your pants? Phony moral outrage. Probably choking your gophers right now.

  86. barney fun frank

    April 12, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    I would like this guy to perform at my wedding!

  87. Derp

    April 12, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I’m a Drudge reader, and I come here to complain about Obama, waaaa waaaa! Or should I say “wank, wank?”

  88. yesterday

    April 12, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    The media has sunken to a new low with this story. Pathetic choice for a “news” story.

  89. Charlie

    April 12, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    It was a crime of passion

  90. Josh Zaslaw

    April 12, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Perhaps he’ll enjoy solitary?

  91. Splash on the Dash

    April 12, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    Reports are that this was worse than the Rodney King beating. However, pounding your pud is not against the law. It’s OK to commit assault on a dead weapon.

  92. John

    April 12, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Protect and Spooge.

  93. krm

    April 12, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Did they have to run a “Finish” dish soap ad as a lead-in?

  94. Larry

    April 12, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    So when was masturbating a crime? Geeze, give the guy a break, he needed to relax! C’mon folks, spend your time on what is important.

  95. Jewfromhell

    April 12, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    “Would you like that circumcised sir?”

  96. Alex

    April 12, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Super Troopers?

  97. Baldy Kirby from Atlanta

    April 12, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    In the words (sorta) of Rodney King:

    “Can’t we all just stroke a dong”?

  98. Willy Johnson

    April 12, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Talk about putting the perp in a chokehold…

  99. Keir

    April 12, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    “When Eiskant was promoted to the rank of sergeant he was issued the badge number 69. Rael explained that he did not know the reason why this happened.”
    Why what happened? Is there something about this number that this article isn’t bothering to inform its readers?

  100. Jason

    April 12, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    This reporter is a moron.

    “based on what we heard, it sounds like he is looking at a naked picture of a woman on his cellphone or texting someone”

    I for one didn’t know naked ‘pictures’ could make identifiable sounds, nor could they be confused with texting, unlike the ‘unmistakable’ sound of a zipper.

    A different version of the story could be something like this…. He unzipped his laptop and typed an email.

  101. jesse

    April 12, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I’d say this cop has something BIG of the higher ups. They seem to be afraid to touch this case. HUMMMMMM

  102. Mike Hunte Dickson

    April 12, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    I almost feel bad for him.. Lots of people have spanked many-a-monkey on the job..

    The weird thing is how this was discovered.. HOW!?
    Why would anyone want to review countless hours of pointless police-cab bullshit.. Only to find a poor guy in his most vulnerable state.. I really feel for this guy.. He was a civilian in this moment practically..

  103. trinity

    April 12, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    wow! a crooked cop, how surprising

  104. billrow

    April 12, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    He named his penis Rodney King.

  105. David

    April 12, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    ILLEGAL CHOKE HOLD!

  106. Billy Joe Bob Junior

    April 12, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    He was playing with his donut holder.

  107. John

    April 12, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I want a liter of cola.

  108. Annee

    April 12, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    I guess he was turned on by a man in uniform…himself!

  109. Clyde

    April 12, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    You gotta watch this whole video, hear the whole account including what is presented as a pattern of carelessness and lack of concern on the part of his superiors, to truly appreciate the depth of “protecting and serving” inherent in this all-too-typical police department.

  110. Jim

    April 12, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Beating it like it’s Rodney King

  111. Cheryl CellPic

    April 12, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Mike DAMN YOU!(I’m the lucky girl with the big knockers on his cell)

    I told you man a hundred times, just wait, and save it!

    Shtzzzzzz!
    (I’ve stepped in his ‘mess’ so many times, people, you just dont know!

    Cheryl

  112. Kelly

    April 12, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    TaterSalad–What in God’s name do your comments mean?

  113. Imgoinblind

    April 12, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    He went from Sgt Eiskant to Sgt Eisdid and then will become Ret Sgt Eisbegone!

  114. FogHorn Leghorn

    April 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Beatin my meat on the toilet seat,

    Doo Dah….Doo Dah….

    My hands got tired so I used my feet,

    Oh Dee Doo Dah Day !!!!

  115. Stu Cozza

    April 12, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Lends a new meaning to pounding the beat.

  116. Scott H

    April 13, 2012 at 12:01 am

    Every man has pleasured himself at work before. This guy was just unfortunate enough to have it taped.

  117. Ray

    April 13, 2012 at 12:03 am

    For all the slow people here who “don’t understand the problem”, first of all this cop is masturbating on the job. If you did that at a private company in your office you’d get fired – no questions asked. Yet, this cop never got fired or disciplined.
    Second, this cop is putting public’s safety at risk while he’s texting someone but was supposed to do his job (protect the peace).
    Third, this cop is handling illegal drugs outside of his job.

    Is it still difficult to “understand the problem”??? Gee!

  118. Sebastian

    April 13, 2012 at 1:11 am

    Like any other company would… terminate this scumbag and cut off his pension… then lock him up for public obscenities. Piece of crap! Typical!

  119. Imagenes de barcelona

    April 13, 2012 at 1:38 am

    Really sucks!!

  120. cinesimon

    April 13, 2012 at 2:15 am

    TaterSalad, you really are that childish, aren’t you?

  121. Cat

    April 13, 2012 at 2:16 am

    Could this be a set up? When something about someone sounds unbelievably bad, do not automatically believe it. This is not a fairytale world, and ugly things are done every day. It had been done before, that people “out to get” someone will encourage and prompt a person to wrong doing, then make sure he gets caught and is punished. Yes, what the police officer did is totally wrong, but, if encouraged to do it by others, then their wrong doing is just as bad, if not worse. The horrible outcome will be that the one person is punished, but having proof of their methods, those equally as responsible will go on to harm more, probably and eventually, assuredly the innocent, of any wrong doing.

  122. MrDerogatory

    April 13, 2012 at 2:22 am

    How do you think the holes get in those donuts?

  123. Lou from RI

    April 13, 2012 at 2:24 am

    He should transfer to the Pawtucket, RI Police Department. One officer got reinstated to his job after being caught doing this very same thing. Another one of their ex-officers was caught stealing money from a hooker. Eiskant would feel right at home here.

  124. greg

    April 13, 2012 at 2:41 am

    They always keep their pension, thats why they never change.

  125. Mr. Bean

    April 13, 2012 at 2:41 am

    Great name for the reporter who watched hours of video….

    “May the Schwartz be with you.” or “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

  126. tunik

    April 13, 2012 at 2:57 am

    amazing cop…

  127. Obamaroid Ointment

    April 13, 2012 at 3:05 am

    Look for the union label.

  128. windorama

    April 13, 2012 at 3:06 am

    i thought ‘beat’ cops did that on the job. rumors about radar gun cops spanking their monkeys are more common than actual monkeys. that’s a hell of a lot of FELONIEs to get a ‘no contest’ plea for. cops don’t get punished the same way a citizen does which makes citizens want to punish them for real, doesn’t it

  129. HolyCow

    April 13, 2012 at 3:15 am

    LOL

    XD

    This has to be the funniest news report I’ve heard.

  130. Mike Hunt

    April 13, 2012 at 3:16 am

    This is probably a lot healthier than a doughnut addiction, but your fingers still gcauteduHawket sticky…

  131. Mike Hunt

    April 13, 2012 at 3:28 am

    This is probably a lot healthier than a doughnut addiction, but your fingers still get awful sticky…

  132. Steve Vercelli

    April 13, 2012 at 3:38 am

    He was merely polishing his pistol after he stopped at the donut shop for some donuts. They were out of cream-filled so he decided to improvise.

  133. Dave E. Dew

    April 13, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Is he now a felon, for committing a salty battery on a police officer?

  134. steve LLL

    April 13, 2012 at 3:49 am

    Is anyone really surprised that this pervert cop has received no disciplinary action. I’m not. It’s very rare that police are held responsible for anything wrong that they do. I’m surprised he’s not getting a raise.

  135. NooYawkah

    April 13, 2012 at 3:52 am

    When I told him to go fuck himself, I didn’t mean literally.

  136. Rodger Lodger

    April 13, 2012 at 4:01 am

    You see, this is why I supported Rick Santorum. He was going to regulate masturbation.

  137. Sparky Magoo

    April 13, 2012 at 4:18 am

    Whats the big deal, don’t all officers have to train in hand-to-gland combat?

  138. John Q Wacker

    April 13, 2012 at 4:19 am

    wacka wacka wacka

    What a weirdo, bet this guy has got stuff hidden in his closets that would shock even seasoned perverts.

    wacka wacka wacka

  139. Anonymous

    April 13, 2012 at 5:01 am

    This guy is going to retire on full benefits that we, the taxpayer, will have to fund for the rest of his sleaze-seeking life. He really didn’t get in any trouble. Is this who we want ‘defending’ us? If there is no consequence to behaving badly, what’s the disincentive? No punishment attracts just the kind of people we don’t want.

    The jokes are funny, but the reality is sort of frightening. We’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

  140. victoriaorchard

    April 13, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Better he’s beating his meat than beating peaceful demonstrators ! Maybe he’ll mace it too. That cop really likes his job ! And to think someone pays him while he’s doing it.

  141. Craig

    April 13, 2012 at 5:07 am

    Great resume builder for the TSA. I bet the TSA is drooling to get a guy like this!

  142. Louie Armstrong

    April 13, 2012 at 5:09 am

    Why is this even in the news?

  143. Michael

    April 13, 2012 at 5:23 am

    While this might be a stimulating and challenging investigation for the Santa Fe Police, the police chief says his men are up for it.

  144. Glennmcgahee

    April 13, 2012 at 5:24 am

    This Officer will soon be working for Blackwater I imagine with a six figure salary.

  145. Joe c.

    April 13, 2012 at 5:36 am

    I like the answer given by the compliance officer when questioned about the badge #69 being issued.
    Rael said. “I suppose, but I can’t speak to that issue one way or another.”

    One way or the other. Very good answer.

  146. Jewelz

    April 13, 2012 at 5:45 am

    Wonder why the Santa Fe New Mexican hasn’t picked up on this video yet?

    :rolleyes:

  147. Cigarsandscotch

    April 13, 2012 at 5:48 am

    I guess the perp was in his pants

  148. Jack Meov

    April 13, 2012 at 5:49 am

    If Obama had a son he would sound like Eiskant masturbating. 69!

  149. Bruce Bodner

    April 13, 2012 at 5:50 am

    People, forgettaboutit! The union will protect him. The taxpayers will be giving him a pension till 2040.

  150. cm

    April 13, 2012 at 5:53 am

    i tried to come up with a good double-entendre to go with this story, but all the other commenters beat me to the punch.

  151. joe

    April 13, 2012 at 5:55 am

    “…and why was Eiskant given the number sixty nine…” LOLOLOLOL what a dbag cop – if I were a taxpayer in that jurisdiction, I’d be outside his house playing the “noises” on a loop over and over and over again through a loudspeaker until this perv gives back all of his salary (seeing that he was getting paid by taxpayers to commit crimes and jack off) and is in jail and his name is just as popular as is Zimmerman’s. – Ruin HIS life, just like the many many lives that cops ruin everyday for trivial reasons.

  152. Sean Torres

    April 13, 2012 at 6:10 am

    I guess this guy was a creeper and all and I don’t know his past history if he was on final warning etc…Gosh I just don’t know if he should get fired for this…reprimand possible suspension without pay counseling treatment…but fire the bloke? For rubbing one off? I don’t know…I mean under those standards Clinton should have been impeached. He didn’t even lose his marriage…strange country…sexually repressed but at same time saturated with sex…so strange…

  153. Ranger01

    April 13, 2012 at 6:23 am

    This guy has a mental problem. He cannot control his fantasy with Woman. A sex Addict. This is not uncommon for men when they look at internet porn and get hooked on it. It changes the way they think. That is why the jokes about going blind? Blind about anything but sex. Let the Dude retire, but mandate in order for him to get it, he needs to attend counseling for the problem for 3 years or spend 3 years in jail.

  154. Terry Rohan

    April 13, 2012 at 6:35 am

    I am sure his union can make the case he is on his ten minute break.

  155. TxnByBrth

    April 13, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Caught red handed…(I have often wondered where that term originated…now I know;-)

  156. jesse

    April 13, 2012 at 6:56 am

    Americans Are Shit
    Go fuck yourself

  157. Dick Riculus

    April 13, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Thanks for making the vast majority of cops look like ass clowns.

  158. lance

    April 13, 2012 at 6:59 am

    He’s hard at work.

  159. Buck Ofama

    April 13, 2012 at 7:03 am

    I guess he was taking The Law into his own hands.

  160. Lonny Lobotomy

    April 13, 2012 at 7:10 am

    Classic self-imposed stiff sentence and better yet an opportunity to see authority figures as they are — flawed, fallible, forlorn. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Knowing more than one law enforcement professional I can attest many represent the very best of humanity while others disappoint on many levels.

  161. BlownfuelCoupe

    April 13, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Cheese it! Here Cum the Cops.

  162. Marc Cask

    April 13, 2012 at 7:23 am

    One has to love how the police chief denies and obfuscates all culpability for this creep. For those who didn’t read the whole article, he is on paid leave for a number of other crimes.

    Typical police force, backing their own no matter how corrupt and vile.

  163. cheap road bike

    April 13, 2012 at 7:26 am

    good police..lol

  164. Jose Jiminez

    April 13, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Wonder if prostitutes offer cops free blow jobs like donut shops and convenience stores offer them free food and coffee? This is not the first time a cop has done this and won’t be the last. Aside from stealing time, there is nothing wrong with this anyway. And what is the video doing watching the crotch of the cop? Maybe more is going on behind the camera! And why is it that these videos “disappear” when they are requested in court case discovery requests? Just as strange as the fake “drug dogs” that come out of some cops back yard and don’t “hit” but the cop yells it out anyway. Traitors, liars, thieves, and stalkers….

  165. Beerman309

    April 13, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Did he put the cream in the center of the doughnut?

  166. robert smith

    April 13, 2012 at 7:52 am

    Santa Fe is a new age mecca. The officer was probably connecting with one of the energy fields are surround the city.

  167. JT

    April 13, 2012 at 7:56 am

    Another cop making things look bad for the good ones. But even so, this sick loser should have had that badge taken away long ago. These things happen all over the county. He is not the first to hound women during a traffic stop. This is why I tell my wife and daughters never drive alone especially a night when possible. They know if they are stopped to call me on their cell so I can hear the conversation. Sorry for the good cops but guys like this really ruin their image.

  168. Garden Man

    April 13, 2012 at 8:01 am

    Great, and the taxpayers end up paying the salary of a guy like this. With video evidence prosecute him, and get him off payroll and pension.

  169. Rick, VA

    April 13, 2012 at 8:05 am

    I like a story with a happy ending.

  170. steve

    April 13, 2012 at 8:08 am

    and this is why we should support public unions we need more officers that jackoff all day ! they have a right to jackoff on the peoples time and steal and harrass woman its their right to be perverts in patrol cars

  171. Tom McLoughlin

    April 13, 2012 at 8:12 am

    If this guy ever tells me to put my hands on the wall and don’t move, I’m moving…

  172. Been There

    April 13, 2012 at 8:28 am

    You CANNOT trust cops. Obviously you can’t trust any of them. Give them the respect they are due, none. And their “tough” job… that’s a myth. Being a police officer doesn’t even rank into the top ten deadliest jobs in the world. I’ve worked three of the top ten most dangerous jobs in my lifetime… cops are just overgrown Hall Monitors that aren’t happy unless they are manipulating others.

  173. Fred Flintstone

    April 13, 2012 at 8:30 am

    If he were black we wouldn’t even know about this !!!

  174. JimA

    April 13, 2012 at 8:43 am

    C’mon, people, he obviously went to the KFC drive through for lunch. He was just referring to the big juicy tender chicken breasts and fluffy biscuits! Can’t a man enjoy his lunch?

  175. mikey

    April 13, 2012 at 8:56 am

    BEEN THERE, you are a total Jack off loser, dont trust cops , walk a mile in there shoes, you are the reason there are police to protect everyone from the lawless lowlifes like yourself, find a bridge and jump, theyll fish you out when you surface!

  176. Tonny Ron

    April 13, 2012 at 8:59 am

    Is this an example of taking the law into your own hands?

  177. JimA

    April 13, 2012 at 9:02 am

    All jokes aside, yeah they’re humorous for sure but my second thought on this is more on a serious note. It’s kind of sad that this guy’s face and name is plastered all over the news. It’s like the media is judge and jury and dispenses shame and embarrassment. Perhaps this guy has a problem and needs a psychiatrist, but he may also have a wife, kids, etc. Can’t they just leave his name and picture out of this? If he has hurt someone else and been convicted then that’s different.

  178. porterv

    April 13, 2012 at 9:05 am

    Of course his “superiors” covered for him for years. They are all degenerates. That’s why they became cops, for the opportunities.

  179. peewee

    April 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

    guess now he’ll watch his career just slip through his fingers.

  180. JohnS

    April 13, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Another cop caught ROUGHING THE SUSPECT. When will this brutality ever end?

  181. James Brenner

    April 13, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Great job Sewer Stream Media! What a complete joke.

    The Federal Reserve is transferring TRILLIONS of dollars to offshore banks and into the hands of Foreign enemies – criminal banking families bent on destroying our economy.

    And you act like you just caught a mass murderer.

  182. Kroger

    April 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I agree with the poster who remarked that “It’s kind of sad that this guy’s face and name is plastered all over the news. It’s like the media is judge and jury and dispenses shame and embarrassment.”

    You want to tell me that little news boy reporting the story has never jerked off? Please. He’s probably in the john at work taking care of his own little number twice a week. But give him a camera and a mic and he becomes a bully–as much as many cops do with their authority.

    I must say however, that if the average cop were all business and no ego-power trips, we wouldn’t be reading all this anti-cop rhetoric every time there’s a news story exposing a bad/stupid officer.

  183. T

    April 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

    He should be arrested

  184. deerjerkydave

    April 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

    I’m surprised this cop didn’t file a workers’ comp claim for injuring himself on the hand job.

  185. C Phill

    April 13, 2012 at 9:48 am

    95% of cops give a bad name to the 5% who are good ones.

  186. Jack

    April 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

    I heard that his shlong has filed a police brutality claim.

  187. Cricket

    April 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

    He was allowed to continue on the police force because the police force (no matter what state) is crooked.

  188. copshot

    April 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

    I’m gonna be a contrarian here. Maybe the emission was involuntary. You’re worse off if you give a hoot either way. Having said that..

    The real problem is that state and local police are subsidized by the national taxpayer and have no reason to exist.
    If all public “servants” were funded locally, then only a few would be needed – leaving no time to “d!ck around” or eat do-nuts.

  189. dave

    April 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

    Hey jesse, come over here so i can kick your little pussy ass…

  190. Red

    April 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

    This just shows that cops are human and can be corrupt people. Just because you are a cop does not mean you get to stick your nose up in the air. I am glad this brings the police force back to reality. What a dip, reminds me of a lot of cops in my area.

  191. john peters

    April 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

    this cop was a jerkoff like most cops are !!!

  192. TwinkleToes

    April 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Hmmmmm, I think maybe Jesse likes to spank the monkey himself and is just jealous because he hasn’t yet figured out a way to get paid for it. Ya gotta “hand” it to this cop – he shows the real American “can do me” attitude!!

  193. Allen

    April 13, 2012 at 10:54 am

    He’ll keep his job and full pension. Sick cops, yet another violation of our rights. The gov’t constantly violates our rights.
    They violate the 1st Amendment by caging protesters and banning books like “America Deceived II”.
    They violate the 4th and 5th Amendment by allowing TSA to grope you.
    They violate the entire Constitution by starting undeclared wars.
    Impeach Obama, support Ron Paul.

  194. Billy

    April 13, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Oh…Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy…where’s my Billy club. Oh wait. It’s right hear throbbing in my hand.

  195. Max17

    April 13, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Maybe he was just having phone sex while on duty. If a President can do it, why can’t a policeman? Shouldn’t we just let the officer go back to doing the work he was hired to do?

  196. Carl

    April 13, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Oh my heaven de Lord, this officer is NEVER gonna live this down…boy those prisoners are gonna love, love, love him during the 69 sessions!

  197. Larry Buckalew

    April 13, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Wow, what a crazy story… Glad he’s gone

  198. Kevin

    April 13, 2012 at 11:33 am

    The Women that he harassed are going to come forward in droves any day now.

  199. Clark

    April 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

    A million police masturbating in squad cars would be cheaper than Obama’s stimulus package, and less obscene.

  200. Monica Lewinsky

    April 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Clinton got off on the job, too.

  201. Obviousman

    April 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Typical blue-wall bullshit. Complaints get routed to the “compliance officer’s” desk, where they go into a black hole. Later, the chief says, “I don’t have any record of complaints about this officer.” When this one gets to a place where he can no longer ignore it, he says, “I don’t have a record of any OTHER complaints about this officer.” Hey, chief, did you bother to ask your “compliance officer?” He has a filing cabinet full of complaints, along with complaints about some of your other officers that you also “don’t have any record of.”

  202. ML

    April 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    I love that the name of the pic at the bottom is “FapAgent.”

  203. mlsj78

    April 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    I guess he has to rape and kill a b****h before he’s punished….

  204. James Carter

    April 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Wow this was very disgusting but what is more sad is that he will get a slap on the wrist and an a big severance pay! Only in America huh? lol

  205. Big Tex

    April 13, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Most cops are OK guys and are underpaid for what they do. Day before yesterday I watched a solemn procession of more than a hundred officers from cities and counties all over Texas escorting one of their own in a motorcade from Austin to San Angelo where he was reared and will be buried. He was responding to a disturbance call at an Austin WalMart. When he arrived a doped and drunk scumbag, bitter about being dumped by his GF, immediately attacked, whipped out a pistol, and shot the 40 YO Austin officer in the neck, killing him and leaving two little girls without a daddy.

    There will always be a few bad ones who tarnish the reputations of the vast majority.

    This guy was obviously a stalker and a bad cop. Before his retirement in a few months he should at least be stripped of his rank and retired at minimum expense to the public.

  206. postofficemike

    April 13, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    That beats all!

  207. Mike_88

    April 13, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    The cop that pulled himself over.

  208. Officer Fappo

    April 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Bad boys whatcha gonna do when they come on you!

  209. Zhana Ree

    April 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    OK THe Police need to be policed this is the same garbage that keeps coming up….a group of boys who are all in on the crimes perpetrated by their own

    SERPICO!!!!!!!!! .

  210. Bob

    April 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Too many cameras everywhere. One cannot pick their nose in private any more.

  211. Anonymous

    April 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    simple case of a carjacking thats all.

  212. Bobbert

    April 13, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Perhaps he was in an undercover car-jacking investigation.

  213. dude

    April 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    @ Big Tex, no they are not! Most of the police officers are scumbags! If they were OK guys they would weed out the “few bad ones” that tarnish their reputations and not go over any lenght trying to protect them! If a bunch of “good” cops protect a bad one, they are all bad!

  214. Anonymous

    April 13, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Officer I’s can’t stop jacking off..lol

  215. Anonymous

    April 13, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Sounds about right, maybe it was one of the skanks from POF….

  216. Anonymous

    April 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    I say, let ’em self-abuse all they want. I’d rather they were punished for beatin on citizens.

  217. josh

    April 14, 2012 at 7:26 am

    And they wonder why minorities don’t trust cops! They think that their scared of us walking through their communities when it’s people like him that actually live there. They say watch out for Black guys…yea right,,,when they do the same or if not more,,,they just dont get caught or prosecuted.

  218. Reaver

    April 14, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    …and now we have to watch out for the SHORT arm of the law.

  219. Anonymous

    April 14, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    No surprise Santa Fe hired this guy. They will hire anyone and give them a sergeant’s position.

  220. stalkit

    April 15, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Wow…Let’s see multiple felonies that he pleaded NO CONTEST to…That should make actually collecting the PENSION he LMAO …WORKED SO HARD FOR….LMAO..IMPOSSSIBLE TO RECIEVE…..
    Another case of a guy thinking with the WRONG HEAD at a really bad time.

  221. Vir vigilum

    April 16, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I have been a Police Officer for over 20 years. I have never encountered anyone like this. Masturbating while at work?? Are you kidding me?This guy needs to be terminated from employment ASAP. He gets NO sympathy from me. He is a maladaptded screwball. That being said being a maladaptded screw ball means he has become just like all the maladaptded disgusting perverts that we police in the first place.

  222. Anonymous

    April 17, 2012 at 6:35 am

    THIS GUY IS WACKY!!!!

  223. Johnny

    April 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

    WTF is wrong with you guys everyone has their urges and at anytime, this guy might have lack of discipline in his case and you focus in one thing he does wrong, what about everything else? what about all the lives he might have saved before and you judge him because he was masturbating in a patrol car, yes it is wrong to do it while at work but what if he was in his break, media is as stupid as everyone paying attention to it that’s why i don’t watch the news they tell you what they want and you morons believe it, have you ever hear any good news being broadcast? no, why because all of you guys only focus on the negative of people and thats whats wrong with USA, BTW for all of those whom judge don’t go home to your family acting all innocent I freaking guarantee you 98% of you have done the same or even worst at least once in your life only thing you weren’t caught so stop being such Hippocrates!!

  224. HipoKrits

    May 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    People are so fake and liars…we all jack-off everyone I caught one of my coworkers in our bathroom doing it. Everyone jacks off everyone leave the guy alone and stop trowing stones when you are not free of faults in your own lives….

  225. Raymond

    September 19, 2012 at 2:26 am

    Do you think he radared the hand he was masturbating with?

  226. StarBorne

    March 25, 2015 at 8:23 am

    Ok, I know we all have urges sometimes, but seriously, you’re an adult, man. Wait until you get home

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