Greenland to Send Troops into Syria
In a shocking announcement earlier today, Prime Minister of Greenland Aleqa Hammond notified the nation’s citizens that the Greenland military…
humor
BREAKING: Fiji Accidentally Exports Last Of Water Supply
The island nation of Fiji has run out of water, according to its leaders. In a press conference just a…
Report: US Economy on the Mend; Other Report: US Economy Headed for Irreparable Disaster
Two reports on the condition of the US economy were released earlier this afternoon. According to the first report, US…
Opinion: How I Learned to Control My Impulse Disorder
By Guest Columnist Randy Freeman, author of RandyFreemansFreeAdviceBlog.net Oh God, I just started the article and already this is going…
Opinion: I Am Happy to Announce My Retirement from Running Microsoft…Oh and Also I Killed John F. Kennedy
by Steve Ballmer, former CEO of Microsoft I can’t believe this moment is actually here. After a long career in…
Obama Calls on Nation to Shut the Hell Up for One Second So He Can Think
In a press conference delivered earlier today, President Barack Obama addressed concerns about national security and the economy by calling…
LEAKED: ‘Superman vs. Batman’ Film to Feature Heroes Having Sex with Each Other for 90 Minutes
CAUTION: SPOILERS FOLLOW Secret details from the script of the new DC film ‘Batman vs. Superman' were leaked online yesterday,…
Opinion: A Little Bit About Myself
by The Newly Discovered Mammal ‘Olinguito’ Hey guys, it’s nice to finally meet you. I had seen humanity from afar…
Nothing at All Happening in Youngstown, North Carolina
Sources from around the nation are reporting that there is nothing happening in Youngstown, North Carolina at this very moment…
Report: Society Still Dealing With Same Old Bullshit
A report compiled by the National Museum of Historical Records has revealed that societies in the world are still dealing…
Secret FISA Court Rules Itself Constitutional
In a landmark ruling earlier today, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA), a judicial body which has clandestine proceedings and…
Poll: 95% of Zimbabweans Looking Around to See if Anyone Else Will Start Protesting Elections First
Sources are reporting that a recent poll by a non-government organization in Zimbabwe shows that the vast majority of Zimbabweans…