LEAKED: ‘Superman vs. Batman’ Film to Feature Heroes Having Sex with Each Other for 90 Minutes
CAUTION: SPOILERS FOLLOW Secret details from the script of the new DC film ‘Batman vs. Superman' were leaked online yesterday,…
Jonah
Opinion: A Little Bit About Myself
by The Newly Discovered Mammal ‘Olinguito’ Hey guys, it’s nice to finally meet you. I had seen humanity from afar…
Nothing at All Happening in Youngstown, North Carolina
Sources from around the nation are reporting that there is nothing happening in Youngstown, North Carolina at this very moment…
INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Undercover at an Amazon Warehouse
by Jason Smith, Chief Investigative Reporter I have a shocking announcement to make. Over the past 3 months, I have…
Report: Society Still Dealing With Same Old Bullshit
A report compiled by the National Museum of Historical Records has revealed that societies in the world are still dealing…
Secret FISA Court Rules Itself Constitutional
In a landmark ruling earlier today, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA), a judicial body which has clandestine proceedings and…
Poll: 95% of Zimbabweans Looking Around to See if Anyone Else Will Start Protesting Elections First
Sources are reporting that a recent poll by a non-government organization in Zimbabwe shows that the vast majority of Zimbabweans…
Opinion: Some Helpful Reminders for Your Upcoming Trip to Africa or the Middle East
by Edward H. Bastion, President of Delta Airlines Since the State Department warned Americans last week to take caution in…
New Google Product Lets You Sync Your Shit
Technology giant Google is reportedly ready to introduce their newest venture. Called ‘SyncCast’, the new device is expected to revolutionize…
Opinion: To My Remaining Fans, I Have to Ask What I Could Possibly Do to Disappoint You More
by Alex Rodriguez Well, it looks like my career is just about over. The last few years I have dealt…
NSA Officials Organize Top-Secret Office Birthday Party
In yet another blow to the NSA’s clandestine operations, an anonymous hacker has gained access to secret intel this morning…
MLB Announces Steroid Era Hall of Fame
In a press conference earlier today, Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced his intention to create a new hall…