Bored Edward Snowden Begins Practicing Stand-Up Routine in Sheremetyevo Airport Baggage Claim
For a number of weeks, a weary and restless Edward Snowden has been seeking new ways to liven up his…
Jonah
Kerry Advances Israel-Palestinian Communication to Facial Gestures
Speaking to a group of reporters earlier today, John Kerry announced that he was pleased by recent progress in discussions…
Rolling Stone Editor: “If You Think the Cover is Bad, Wait Until You See the Rest of the Issue”
Following public outrage over the photo of Dzhohkar Tsarnaev on the cover of the most recent Rolling Stone issue, editors…
Opinion: George Zimmerman? Never Heard Of The Guy!
By Shmuel Zimmermanstein What a week! I just moved into town, and the last few days I’ve had so many…
Opinion: I Have Nothing Useful to Contribute to the National Conversation on the George Zimmerman Trial
by Chris Matthews Good morning, my loyal fans. Looking around at what the news blogs, Twitter, and Joy Behar are…
Edward Snowden Denied Entrance to Holiday Inn Express in Moscow
Sources are reporting that Edward Snowden has continued to face difficulty in his search for accommodation, recently being denied admittance…
CIA Spokesperson: ‘I Am Lying To You All Right Now And Quite Frankly There Is No Reason My Position Should Exist’
After speaking to a group of reporters on a wide range of issues on Monday, Meredith Tortbaum, an official spokesperson…
Opinion: Remember That Mubarak Guy? He Was the WORST!
by Mohamed Morsi, President of Egypt So, I’ve been receiving a great deal of complaints lately about my leadership. Some…
Both Sides of Syrian Conflict Agree to Take 15-Minute Break to Watch Local Kitten Attempt to Escape Cardboard Box
Sources are reporting that both sides of the heated civil war in Syria have agreed to a short ceasefire so…
CIA Classifies NFL As Domestic Terrorist Organization
Following the recent arrest of Aaron Hernandez for homicide, officials in the CIA have announced that they are ready to…
Report: Gay Divorce Rate Up 400% Following DOMA Ruling
Following the recent decision by the Supreme Court to declare the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional earlier today, sources are reporting…
Now That I Have Lost My Major Endorsement Deals, I Think I Finally Understand Why Racism is Bad
by Paula Deen Oh my! I have to say, things have not been going very smoothly for myself and my…