What’s with those purses? Women put everything in them – brushes, wallets, calculators, emergency tampons, chapstick – and now newborn infants? Apparently so. The U.S. Virgin Islands police has reported pulling over a pickup during a routine traffic stop this Tuesday. When asked for her license, the St. Croix woman reached for her purse. The police officer heard a baby crying, but curiously saw no child in the car nor any baby seat. The mystery was explained if not resolved when the woman unzipped her purse to reveal a tiny newborn baby.

We all know Freud said the purse was a symbol for female genitalia, but you’re not supposed to literalize those kinds of things! The woman claimed that the baby was born at home just a week previously and had received no prenatal care. Her current task, she explained, was to drive the infant to a doctor.

The police did indeed drive the newborn to the hospital–and fast. The woman, meanwhile, may face criminal charges.

  

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“I thought I saw everything in my years of police work,” said Deputy Police Chief Christopher Howell to the St. Croix source, “But this is unbelievable.”

Word to the wise: if your actions alarm even a seasoned police chief whose seen just about everything, you’re probably doing it wrong.