Summary: Make sure you don’t fall prey to these common dating mistakes. You will be much happier if you can avoid them.
Want to get back out there in the dating world? Before you dive right in, take some time to really think about what you’re looking for and how you want to come across to others. Dating can be awkward, uncomfortable, and sometimes a little dramatic, so to help you make it through unscathed, and hopefully with a new significant other, here are ten common dating mistakes and how to avoid them.
- Go into a date expecting a relationship. You’ve read their online profile or heard all about them from your friend and you’ve already created a story in your mind of how well this is going to work out, but in reality you don’t know how you’ll get along in person. Don’t go into a date, even with someone you know, expecting a relationship. Show up expecting to get to know them better and see where it goes from there.
- Putting on an act. If you’re trying too hard to impress someone at the beginning by not really being yourself, it’s only going to come back to haunt you later. Be honest, be yourself, and don’t worry if it doesn’t work out with this one person.
- Having your phone out. Be completely present when you’re getting to know someone. Put your phone out of sight and forget about it. Your fans can wait.
- Rattling off your resume. You may feel like you’re impressing the other person by sharing all the things you’ve accomplished, but you’re not there to sell yourself to a potential employer. You’re there to really get to know someone and share who you are, not just what you’ve done.
- Having the perfect man or woman in mind. Yes, after years of dating you probably know things you do and don’t want in a significant other, but don’t create the image of a perfect man or woman in your head, because they just don’t exist. We all have our faults.
- Planning too far ahead. If you’re on your second date and you ask the other person to your cousin’s wedding in a few months, you will probably scare them off. Get to know them first and see if this is really going somewhere before making long-term plans.
- Wait for XYZ before you start dating. Many of us tell ourselves, “I’ll start dating after I lose 10 pounds” or get a promotion, or move into an apartment with roommates, etc. Know that you are good enough now, just the way you are, and don’t let fear hold you back.
- Thinking a bad date is a waste of time. Date for the experience. Sure, you want a relationship, but every bad date teaches you something about yourself and helps you to be less nervous for the next one.
- Worrying about what your friends will think. Date someone because you connect with them, you have fun with them, and they bring out the best in you. Don’t worry about how impressed your friends or family will be by his or her job, background, looks, or anything else.
- Wasting time on someone who’s not into you. You had a great date, or a couple, and now you think they’re the one for you but they aren’t calling or texting and you’re putting in all the work to make plans. Don’t waste your time pining after someone who isn’t as equally excited to spend time with you. You’re worth more than that.