Home

Opinion: Would Anyone Like Some Information about my Newborn Child?
Download PDF
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

by Halle Berry

I don’t know if you guys have heard, but I just gave birth to my second child. I am so excited, and I just want to share the love and pride I am feeling with anyone and everyone who is willing to listen. So, is there anyone out there who wants some information about the birth of my child?

  
What
Where


I guess I am just curious if there is anyone who would like to meet my new child, or at least hear about what he’s like. Are there people out there who would want a picture of him, or maybe a video with us together?? Just in case there are, I want to extend an open invitation to the public to come over to the hospital and visit with me and my child. I’m staying at Beverly Hills General Hospital on Lakeview Boulevard, and can be found in room 330. Come by whenever!

If you want, you can even pick up my newborn child. It’s fine, go ahead! Just be careful please. I was thinking maybe anyone who wants to hold my baby could form a line outside of the hospital, and I will call you in one at a time. Does that sound reasonable?

Also, if anyone is curious, I could tell you about some of my sexual exploits and reveal a controversy surrounding who is the biological father of this a child. Would you guys want to hear about that? I don’t want to bore anyone so just tell me if that sounds like something you would want to hear.

Get JD Journal in Your Mail

Subscribe to our FREE daily news alerts and get the latest updates on the most happening events in the legal, business, and celebrity world. You also get your daily dose of humor and entertainment!!




In fact, now that I think about it, there’s a few other things about my private personal life that I could give you information about. Just off the top of my head I can think of three or four dark and disturbing secrets that could potentially ruin my career, and definitely make a tabloid magazine millions of dollars for the exclusive. Does that sound like something anyone would want?

No? No interest at all? Ok, I guess I’ll have to just love my child privately and keep my horrible secrets to myself. What a shame, I really thought people might be interested in this kind of stuff. How disappointing. You leave me no option; I will have to keep this wonderful and highly personal moment to myself. I guess that’s how these types of situations are supposed to work anyway, huh?



Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect the opinions of real people.



 

RELEVANT JOBS

National Firm seeks seasoned Corporate M&A partner in Austin with Big Law experience

USA-TX-Austin

Culhane Meadows PLLC, one of the largest non-traditional (remote-workplace) law firms in the country...

Apply now

National Firm seeks seasoned Corporate M&A partner in Houston with Big Law experience

USA-TX-Houston

Culhane Meadows PLLC, one of the largest non-traditional (remote-workplace) law firms in the country...

Apply now

National Firm seeks seasoned Corporate M&A partner in Dallas with Big Law experience

USA-TX-Dallas

Culhane Meadows PLLC, one of the largest non-traditional (remote-workplace) law firms in the country...

Apply now

Trusts and Estates Paralegal

USA-PA-Philadelphia

We are looking for a paralegal with a 4-year degree and paralegal certificate, or equivalent experie...

Apply now

BCG FEATURED JOB

Locations:

Keyword:



Search Now

Litigation Associate Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

San Francisco office of a BCG Attorney Search Top Ranked Law Firm seeks associate attorney with 1+ y...

Apply Now

Civil Defense Litigation Attorney At Law

USA-MO-Olivette

Olivette office of our client seeks civil defense litigation attorney at law with 1-10 years of expe...

Apply Now

Labor and Employment Law Associate Attorney

USA-CA-Walnut Creek

Walnut Creek office of our client seeks labor and employment law associate attorney with 5-7 years o...

Apply Now

Most Popular

SEARCH IN ARCHIVE

To Top