Home

Bored Edward Snowden Begins Practicing Stand-Up Routine in Sheremetyevo Airport Baggage Claim
Download PDF
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

For a number of weeks, a weary and restless Edward Snowden has been seeking new ways to liven up his days while he waits for to receive asylum; and sources are now reporting that the famed leaker has now resorted to delivering comedy monologues to other travelers at the airport baggage claim.

“Yikes, this guy must be having a longer flight delay than I am,” he reportedly suggested as he pointed to a short Russian man who appeared in no mood to put up with such ridicule.

  
What
Where


“Either that or he just got off the F494 from Guyana. Am I right or am I right?”

This is only Snowden’s latest venture to accompany his otherwise idle schedule. Last week he reportedly recreated several Georgia O’Keefe paintings using only relish and ketchup. And a manager from ‘Kroshka Kratoka’ (a fast food operation that specializes in potato dishes) has confirmed that he received a job application from Snowden on Monday. But for now, Snowden will be sticking to comedy to relieve his lethargy.

“Whoever said airline food is bad clearly hasn’t checked out the eating options near Gate 36E. I mean, honestly, they’re complaining about the smell all the way at Gate 43F!”

Get JD Journal in Your Mail

Subscribe to our FREE daily news alerts and get the latest updates on the most happening events in the legal, business, and celebrity world. You also get your daily dose of humor and entertainment!!




In an interview with a public radio show in Moscow on Friday, Snowden admitted that it is becoming more difficult to come up with interesting activities to placate his boredom.

“It’s tough in here. I blazed through my Netflix cue pretty early on, and you can only play Solitaire so many times before it loses its charm. Hmm..maybe next I’ll write some poetry. Or perhaps I’ll release all of the incredibly incriminating secret information I have on the US government. That might spice things up for a while.”



It certainly would. But for now, he continues to hope that live comedy will hold him over until he finds somewhere else to go. As he acknowledges in his routine, Russian intelligence continues to keep a careful eye on him to make sure he does not venture outside of the airport:

“In Russia, government spies on Edward Snowden! Get it, guys?”

Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect any real reporting.



 

Interesting Legal Sites You May Like


BCG FEATURED JOB

Locations:

Keyword:



Search Now

Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney

USA-NY-Walden

Walden office of our client seeks matrimonial/family law attorney with 3-5 years of experience. The ...

Apply Now

Matrimonial Attorney

USA-NY-Garden City South

Garden City South office of our client seeks matrimonial attorney with experience. The candidate wil...

Apply Now

Probate Litigation Attorney

USA-FL-Orlando

Orlando office of our client seeks probate litigation attorney with 3+ years of experience.

Apply Now

RELEVANT JOBS

Legal Department Manager

USA-CA-Visalia

Acclaim Credit Technologies is seeking full time individual for our legal department. Job requiremen...

Apply now

Workers' Rights Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

La Raza Centro Legal Workers\' Rights Coordinating Attorney   JOB ANNOUNCEMENT Posi...

Apply now

Senior Law Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

SENIOR LAW COORDINATING ATTORNEY La Raza Centro Legal is currently accepting applications for a c...

Apply now

Immigration Law Coordinator Attorney

USA-CA-San Francisco

Immigration Program Coordinating Attorney The Immigration Program Coordinating Attorney at La Raz...

Apply now

SEARCH IN ARCHIVE

To Top