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Kim Kardashian Comes Up With Peculiar Name for Her Baby

Attention craving Kim Kardashian couldn’t name her newborn daughter something normal like Molly or Sarah – no! – and though she and Kayne had toyed with the idea of having a K-named baby – Kristen or Kelly or something — they also have talked on and off about naming their name something directional, and that appears to be their final decision. So meet North West.

They will call the child Nori as a pet name. Young North joins the likes of other celebrity children such as Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Apple,” Sylvester Stallone’s “Sage Moonblood,” Bono’s “Memphis Eve,” and Michael Jackson’s “Blanket.”

Well, being a celebrity has to come with some sort of clout, and nominating a child in some peculiar and entirely pretentious way is a sure way to turn heads, as when every magazine in the nation says, “Kim Kardashian was photographed with her daughter North West,” or some other forgettable nonsense. It’s more salient, perhaps, than saying something normal, like “here comes Kim with her daughter Sherry.”

And as TMZ pointed out, North West is the only direction that could have worked out for the poor kid: Southwest is an airline, West West is redundant, and East West is a contradiction. North by Northwest also happens to be a Hitchcock classic, but that shouldn’t cause too much confusion.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.