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Charlie Sheen Writes a Rejection Letter to Farrah Abraham as Only Sheen Can

Charlie Sheen doesn’t seem all that impressed with the “teen mom” who porned herself into becoming a millionaire. And his rejection letter for her sounds worse than that! Evidently Farrah Abraham had texted him about meeting up to discuss the possibility of her finding a role on “Anger Management,” to which Sheen agreed. That is, until she allegedly shared the private text message with the media, upon which Charlie rejected her in a style and a manner that belongs entirely to the Sheen.

As TMZ reports, Sheen responded to her leak with this letter:

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow.

bye!
cs.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.