Celebrities Warned to Cover their Junk at the Grammy’s this Year

It’s about time somebody did something about those perverts at the Grammy awards. Too many actors and musicians have used their celebrity status as a “get out of jail free” card to wear just about anything – or nothing – as they wish. CBS Standards and Practices has emailed the celebrities that will be part of the Grammy’s this year – the celebrities and the people who control them – with a set of guidelines that might seem like common sense to normal human beings.

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered,” the letter reads.

“Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack.”

“Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples.”

“Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts.”

“Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera.’”

Celebrities will not be able to wear the names of whatever organization they are using to save their soul; as TMZ said, they can wear a pink ribbon but not the name “The American Breast Cancer Foundation.”

All this to dodge the FCC, who are sick of putting up with Grammy shenanigans. Thongs and lingerie will not be acceptable ways for these attention-starved drama-queens to get camera time this year.