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VIDEO: Man Cannonballs on to Icy Pool Only to Fail

Since time immemorial, Northern Europeans have tested their will against the cruel winters; long ago the winters were personified as trolls or ice giants, the specific enemies of Odin, Thor, and the other gods of the Aesir. Such an antipathy between mother nature in her crueler aspect and man and his boastful triumph of the will continue to set the stage for such confrontation as this German makes between his desire to swim and the frozenness of his swimming pool.

Anticipating an epic destruction of the icy barrier, he has his friends act as support and witness, along with video witness, of man’s persistence despite the heartless cold of winter’s face. He gestures to the sky with one finger, with his other hand on his heart, and defies the forces of winter with the words, “Fuck the fucking cold!”

After this, our brave German upstart bolts at the pool, forms his body into the invincible shape of a human cannonball, and crashes gloriously through the ice and into the freezing water.

Well that was the intention anyway. The ice, it seems, was thicker than it at first appeared, and our hero’s support team can be heard laughing their asses off as our hapless hero scoots his butt over the ice, aching from his defeat.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.