X

Smallest Penis Contest in Denmark

Penis sizes are down by ten percent since 50 years ago, according to one study in Italy, and though Rush Limbaugh blames the feminazis for this, others are taking a moment to celebrate the beauty and austerity of a smaller member. Specifically, little old Denmark is having a competition sponsored by Singlesex.dk, offering an iPhone to the man with the weeniest penis.

This competition follows up their equally tasteful, “most beautiful penis” contest. Site owner Morten Fabricius calls the idea “weird and funny and almost too much. It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man,” he said, as reported by RawStory.com. “There are so many unhappy men out there who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s normal not to have a huge one.”

Watching pornography, apparently, has given some men an inferiority complex, and considering the average penis size is 5.5 inches erect, half of men are below it. Sex educator Jamye Waxman thinks the contest will show such men that they’re not alone, “It’s a good opportunity for guys to accept what they’ve got.”

It’s an old standby that just as bigger breasts don’t produce more milk, so don’t bigger penises make for better sex; use and persona make a bigger difference in that direction.

“So far we have received six to seven images which are posted, but we have more trickling in, which we are vetting to make sure they are not stolen from the web,” said Fabricius. To compete, a man has to send in a photo of his erect organ alongside a measuring tape. The smallest member isn’t the only one which will win; the female staff of the site will also vote for their favorite, giving a second iPhone, and the second and third place winners will win an iPad.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.