Sex Doll Rescued From Drowning by 18 Cops, Bias Prevented CPR Administration

She seemed out of breath by the time the 18 police had pulled her from the river, but considering her apparent lifestyle, nobody volunteered to deliver mouth-to-mouth. The crowd of over a thousand people who had gathered to look on, while heroes did what they do best, where nonplussed when faced with the woman; they covered their children’s eyes and quickly dispersed. The cops must have been a bit deflated themselves, having worked so hard to rescue a used and discarded sex doll.

The drama went down on July 11 in China’s Shandong Province. Perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised: Shandong produces a lot of the world’s sex toys. Nevertheless, at about 40 meters away, the incorrigible sex object might just look like she was a damsel in distress, and not gutter trash as many prudential commentators have since opined.

It’s not the first time a Chinese sex object has led to an anticlimax. Just last month, when miners were drilling a well shaft, they discovered what they took to be a legendary mushroom. It became the center piece for a news expose. Only later was the peculiar tuber revealed to be a creatively shaped sex toy. It seems artificially provocative items can be as stimulating as when real people make the news.