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What’s the F–king Problem?

It’s their name. The residents of F–king Austria are effing sick of English speakers copulating in front of their street signs, taking pictures, and prank calling them.

“The phone calls are really the final straw,” said the F–king Mayor, Meindle, who also complained their street signs were being nabbed as stolen souvenirs, even when those F–king signs were bolted with concrete.

The Hamlet holds 104 residents, who lived in pastoral bliss until U.S. troops stationed there during WWII and put F–king on the map.

The town voted yesterday on whether they would change their F–king name, and decided to change it to Fugging. Only Fugging is already taken, when another Austrian city, once named F–king, changed its name in 1836.

F–king is named after Focko, a 6th Century Bavarian nobleman.

The problem has been intensified with F–king postcards bearing the town’s name, wishing receivers to have a Happy F–king Christmas.

There was another F–king vote about the name in 1996, when they decided to keep the F–king name as it was.

The Fugging mayor, Dockner, has chastised the F–king village, saying, “If our village was called F–king, I don’t think it would be a problem — we are proud of it and I’m sure you wouldn’t change the name. I’d advise F–king not to change anything.”

It seems the town still has a F–king choice to make.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.