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Crocodile Bites Off Man’s Testicles

It may have been ballsy for Jonah Maturure to cross the flooded Chivake River without his pants on, but he had done so many times before, and never had a problem, and it was easy enough to put his pants in the box of tomatoes on his head and keep them dry till he crossed the river. Only this time, the 70-year-old Zimbabwean ran into a large crocodile, and only barely escaped with his life, if not his testicles.

Maturure was by no means cocky when confronted with the crocodile, but did everything he could to escape. He explains his motive as he elaborated the story:

“It mauled a chunk of my buttocks before attacking my manhood, tearing my testicles to shreds. The skin covering my manhood was partly torn but I quickly put my thumb in its mouth to try and choke it after realizing that I was going to lose my manhood. It then grabbed my hand and I could hear my bones cracking, making some cacophony noise at the slightest bite.

“Realizing that I was losing the battle, I let go of the box of tomatoes that I was carrying on my head and it fell into the river with a thud, making some kind of noise. At that instant the crocodile released its grip on my hand and ran towards the noise.

“It probably thought I had fallen into the river, and I escaped in pain, with blood flowing down my legs from the wounds where the chunks of flesh had been incised.”

Maturure then scrabbled for the river bank, and brought himself, bare and bleeding, to the nearest house to ask for help.

He credits the box of tomatoes as saving his life and saving what was left of his manhood. This dastardly attack is just the latest of a series of crocodile related incidents in Gutu.

Daniel June: Daniel June studied English literature at Michigan State University, graduating in 2003. Working a potpourri of jobs since, from cake-decorator to proofreader, his passion has always been writing, resulting in books of essays, novels, and children’s novellas.