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jonah lustig

BREAKING: You Read Headline

BREAKING: You Read Headline According to various sources, you just read the headline to this article and are now continuing to read through the introduction of the piece. This is a developing story that is occurring in real time. “I am now reading a…>read more

No Comment January 20, 2014

SPONSORED: Please, Oh God Please Just Buy Our Product

SPONSORED: Please, Oh God Please Just Buy Our Product To the Consumers of America, Ok, look. We need to be honest. We’ve tried hundreds of marketing campaigns to get Peppermint Jack’s Hard Candies to the public. We’ve poured thousands of dollars into media advertising and publicity stunts. And it…>read more

No Comment January 19, 2014

Pictures of People Next to Short Blurbs in Which They Discuss Owls

Pictures of People Next to Short Blurbs in Which They Discuss Owls “My favorite species of owl has to be the Pel’s Fishing Owl. They have beautiful coats that turn spotted in the fall, and if you ever have the opportunity to hear their mating call you will know you are in…>read more

No Comment January 13, 2014

Man Fulfills Childhood Dream of Becoming that Angry Boss who is Always on Everyone’s Case

Man Fulfills Childhood Dream of Becoming that Angry Boss who is Always on Everyone’s Case Sources at Springfield Investment Funds are reporting that area businessman Jonathan Welcher has earned a promotion to manager, allowing him to finally fulfill his dream of being that evil, uncaring boss who regularly chews out his underlings. “Martin, get in…>read more

No Comment January 13, 2014

Opinion: Thank God it’s the Weekend

Opinion: Thank God it’s the Weekend by Chris Christie Yeesh, what a week! Boy, some days at work are tougher than others, but this week was like a bad day marathon! By Thursday I wasn’t sure I would even make it to the weekend! But somehow…>read more

No Comment January 11, 2014

Only Things Stopping Athlete from Achieving Dreams are Himself, Incurable Bone Disease

Only Things Stopping Athlete from Achieving Dreams are Himself, Incurable Bone Disease According to his friends and family, there is nothing stopping local teen Damien Smith from achieving his hopes and dreams of one day playing in the NBA, with the exception being his own mental hurdles as well as the incurable…>read more

No Comment January 9, 2014

Clarification: What I Am Doing in North Korea

Clarification: What I Am Doing in North Korea by Dennis Rodman Hello. Many are question me after my CNN interview, and I wish now to talk to you. I want you to know why I am doing. So please, listen to me, Dennis Rodman, and what I am having…>read more

No Comment January 8, 2014

Opinion: What the Hell is Going on Right Now?!

Opinion: What the Hell is Going on Right Now?! by Fargam, the Iranian Monkey Launched into Space OH MY GOD. THIS IS CRAZY. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?! WHERE THE HELL AM I? WHAT THE….OH MY GOD WHAAAAAAAAT?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? AM I IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW?…>read more

1 Comment December 14, 2013

Travelling Ron’s Travel Blog – Sherwood, Alabama

Travelling Ron’s Travel Blog – Sherwood, Alabama Well hello there, fellow globetrotters! Travelling Ron here, with another exciting update from my escapades across this great nation. I spent last weekend in the charming town of Sherwood, Alabama, and am ready to share my experience with you. So…>read more

No Comment December 13, 2013

Local Nine-Year-Old Weirdly Into Politics

Local Nine-Year-Old Weirdly Into Politics According to his friends and family, local child Damian Jones has a profound interest in the happenings of the government and lawmakers; so much so that those around him are beginning to question the boy’s unusual passion. “It’s a little…>read more

No Comment December 12, 2013

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Job of the Day
Full-Time Certified Paralegal
USA-FL-Fort Lauderdale

Please read carefully - Nationwide law firm is seeking a full-time paralegal to work in our Fort Lauderdale office. QUALIFICATIONS: * Valid Paralegal Certification; Florida State Bar or NALA;...