by Paul McCartney
As I look back on my music career, I have to say, I am proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish through the years. I’m my own toughest critic, but I think the stuff I did with The Beatles all those years ago was pretty damn good. I’ve written some true classics since that time as well with Wings and as a solo artist.
That said, however, I have a feeling that I am just now starting to come into my own as an artist. I’ve been working at this stuff for a pretty long time, and now I feel like I have the experience necessary to make some innovative and powerful music. In fact, I am confident that my new music over the next few years will be the best of my career.
When people hear my new album, aptly titled ‘New’, they will know what I am talking about. The first single, also ingeniously titled ‘New’, features me playing a chord progression on the guitar while singing soulfully over it. Some may say this track sounds exactly like 1000 other songs I’ve released before, and they would be right in that I have used this chord progression literally over 1000 times. But what they fail to notice is that I am singing a brand new melody over it with brand new lyrics. That is where the innovation comes in!
So as you can see from this sample, my brain is overflowing with ideas for brilliant new songs. It feels like every day I come up with a new way to sing over the same 4 chords, and each new song is better than the last. That is why I am confident the next few years will be the high point of my career.
Actually, I just came up with a new song idea right now! What if I made a song with me playing the ukelele about a girl named ‘Janice’. Oh, that would be a great song! The lyrics could be something like ‘Janice, you are my special one…Janice, give me all of your love’. Wow! People are going to go nuts for this stuff!
You know, I could make a whole album called ‘Janice’. I’ve never made a whole album about just one girl before, that would be so innovative! Maybe there would be another song that’s about breaking up with a girl named Janice. I could play the guitar and sing “Janice…why did you have to go…Janice…I love you so. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Janice.” I don’t think anyone has made music quite like this before!
I better head over to the recording studio and start laying down some tracks. I can’t wait for the critics and my fans to hear this stuff. I may be 71 years old, but I am now entering the prime of career. Look out world, soon everyone across the earth will be singing the songs of Paul McCartney! Here we go!
Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect the opinions of those mentioned.