Following the recent recommendation by the National Transportation Safety Board for states to lower the legal blood alcohol level limit for drivers from .08 to .05, consumers of alcohol across the nation have expressed varied opinions on the subject in traditional drunken rant form.
Some mild alcoholics have reacted in a furor, arguing that lowering the BAC limit infringes on individual liberties to get a little buzzed before getting behind the wheel of a vehicle. James Reynolds, a data analyst and father of four, gave us the following comment:
“This is an absolute outrage. As a free American, I reserve the right to down a few appletinis before going to pick up my kids from school. Frankly, I’m not sure I will be able to handle the commute at .05. Even .06 seems like a stretch.”
Reynolds and others like him believe that America has a proud history of light drinking to accomplish tasks and mitigate conflicts. It is well-established that the nation’s forefathers regularly visited a local tavern in between meetings to draft the Declaration of Independence and Constitution; and as recently as a few years ago President Obama showed that knocking back a few brews is an easy way to solve racial controversies.
But not all of the nation’s drunkards are so dismayed by the news. Some more unsympathetic alcoholics have expressed only mild concern with the decision, noting that they are usually too drunk to think about their BAC level when deciding to step into the driver’s seat anyway.
“No offense to the NTSB, but when I’m all sauced up and about to get behind the wheel, my blood alcohol level is not really on my mind,” says Barry Carson, unemployed.
“Usually my thought process goes something like this: ‘I don’t feel too drunk. Yeah, I can probably make it back home. Where the hell did I put those mints?’”
The NTSB, however, argues that this type of decision-making process is not relevant to the discussion. They suggest that the new limit would act as a preventative measure by increasing the number of DUIs initially to dismay drivers in the future from choosing to drink and drive. But individuals like Carson do not believe that this will be an effective tactic regardless.
“Those government jerkoffs probably just don’t know how to handle their liquor. That doesn’t mean they should punish those of us who do. If I were in charge of this country I’d…hang on….oh God here it comes….blllaaaarrrrghhhhh.”