“Do not be led by the irresponsible media who would rather disseminate false information that creates sensation than to allow the truth to prevail,” said the attorney representing Pi Kappa Alpha. Directing his ire at the reporters who picked up the story he went on, “I say to you … shame on you! You need to go back to journalism school and take a good course on ethics.”
Such was the message the fraternity wished to throw back at the widely spread news that the fraternity had done a hazing that involved “buttchugging wine” — a sort of enema that quickly delivers alcohol into the blood. The lawyer also denied that the alleged buttchugger is gay and reported that he regarded the practice of buttchugging disgusting. These clarifications seemed especially relevant to the underage drinker.
The attorney accused the police for revealing confidential information about the students. The statement of the Knoxville Police Department released on Monday reads:
“Upon extensive questioning, it is believed that members of the fraternity were using rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the bloodstream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver.”
To all this, Alexander Broughton, 20, the fraternity member in question, made a statement himself: “On Friday, September 21, 2012 I made a bad choice regarding drinking. That decision almost cost me my life, and I deeply regret it. However, the scandalous accusations surrounding that event never happened, and I completely deny them.”
“Can you clarify what did happen that day?” a reporter asked, when the denials were over.
“It’s a long story,” he shrugged.
The long story is that instead of butt-chugging, the student had participated in the much nobler “Tour de Franzia,” in which the students raced in a game to finish a box of Franzia wine. It was this, they claim, that brought Broughton’s blood alcohol above .4, a potentially lethal level.