California Jury Rules Size Does Matter

Shortly after Matthew Wall got married, he was involved in a tragic motorcycle crash that left him with major injuries. Those injuries included extensive nerve damage, a shattered pubic ramus bone, and damage to his penis. The 27-year-old man lost 1.5 inches from his penis after reconstructive surgery procedures.

A jury hearing his case in El Cajon, California awarded Wall $7,553,000. If you do the math, that equates to $5,035,000 per inch. The money is also for medical bills, nerve damage, and trauma. I guess some of the jury members were sympathetic to his problem.

The defense lawyers came up with some very traditional arguments against the plaintiff such as: it does not matter because he knows how to use it, he is still good with his tongue and hands, and it is okay because he knows how to make her laugh.

The jury did not agree with the defense team but Wall’s wife did, as the couple has since gotten divorced.

There surely will be a negative impact on men’s advice columnists across the globe now that there is a definitive legal response to the question of whether or not size matters. Now we know that answer to be a resounding yes. So men, the next time you tell a woman that size does not matter, make sure that she has not seen the ruling from this case if you wish to defend your opinion.

• Associate Bonuses Announced at Kirkland & Ellis
• Katten Moves Up Start Dates For Six Incoming Associates
• Skadden Arps To Cut Summer Program Invitations In Half
• Utah To Start Mentor Program For New Lawyers
• World’s Law Offices Head To Dubai — Canada Stays Put

Posted by jim on January 18, 2012. Filed under Home,Shocking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.